There are some things we don't like to
talk about, and those are our failures in life. I want to talk about
this one, because it was a problem to me. When I got back-slidden and
I went away from Jesus, one of the bad things I did - I started
smoking. And I regretted it, but I smoked for 12 years, the time that
I was away from the Lord. But when I came back to Jesus, I wanted to
stop smoking with all my heart.
The other sins that beset me were easy
to set apart - I just stopped doing them, but people, I could not
stop smoking, I could not kick the habit. I had tried so many times
in my life before that to stop smoking, and then I was desperate to
stop smoking because here I am, I've come back to Jesus - I've
repented with all my heart, and I said"Lord, I want to serve you
with all my heart,
but I got this stinking cigarette."
And I smoked a pipe and all kinds of
trash, but I couldn't stop smoking, and it ate at me. I didn't have
confidence to pray anymore because all I tried, I just could not. It
was a demon that was in me, the smoke was - it had me.
It affected my life as a Christian, as
a disciple, because I'm dedicated to Jesus, but I can't kick the
habit. And I cried to God and said,
"Lord Jesus, please help me, I
want to stop smoking."
The more I prayed and the more I cried,
the harder it became and I couldn't stop smoking. It was just like an
insurmountable problem to me.
Until one day I gave up and said,"Lord,
I love You, and You know my heart -I want to serve You with all my
life, and if I'm going to die smoking, that's fine with me, but you
know I love You and I want to follow You with all my heart.
I got my eyes off the smoke and my eyes
onto Jesus. It was about a day or so later, two days, I cannot
remember, I walked into a collegue's office and he said to me -
"Jan, why do you smoke?"
I said, "Man, I hate it."
He said, "Well, why don't you just
stop?"
I said, "What do you mean?"
He says, "Well, take that
cigarette and tell it -I don't need you, I don't want you, get away
from me."
It sounds silly because I tried to stop
smoking so many times before. I walked out and over to my office, and
I sat there and I took this packet of cigarettes and I said - "You're
not my boss anymore, Jesus is my boss."
I put it down and I never smoked again.
The smoke left me, I didn't stop, that
smoke demon left me because I got my eyes on Jesus. Where previously
if I tried to stop smoking, I just had to put away all tobacco
products from me, and if people smoked close to me,
then I got the craving.
I had no craving!
I had no withdrawal symptoms.
I never craved for smoking again.
Previously, I'd stop smoking for a few
days,then somebody smokes a cigar in front of me, and then I could
be, like, puffing, inhaling his smoke.
It was gone!
The smoke had left me.
My Friends, Jesus sets us free, but
when we've got our eye on our problem, then our problem becomes big,
HUGE - it becomes bigger than Christ. When we set our eyes on Christ
to glorify Him and to satisfy Him, then these other things fall away
like dirty rags. And I thank God not just for delivering me, just
saying, "Lord, please deliver me from the smoke, and puff it
goes - no.
He made me suffer, because we learn
from what we suffer, and I suffered.
What I also learned from this is that
many Christians are hypocrites, and I was a hypocrite.
Because they think, well, I've never
sinned and I'm better than that guy - I was like that. But I had to
come low to realize that I'm nothing, man, and that it is all about
Jesus! I had to be addicted to that thing to realize only Jesus can
set me free. It is not about anything else but about the Lordship of
Jesus Christ, putting Him first in our lives, and then He delivers us
from everything
The other thing is it's not because you
don't smoke that God loves, it's because you are pure in heart. It
doesn't bring you closer to God if you can attain your own holiness,
no. It's obedience that matters in the sight of God,and I had to
learn first that I could not make myself acceptable to God by
stopping smoking - I couldn't!
I couldn't help myself!
But when I handed it all over and I
said - "Lord, I love you any way," He
delivered me because He loves me. I'm
nothing, My Friends - Jesus is everything.
My testimony is about Jesus and what
Jesus has done for me and what He will do for you if you trust Him -
it's not about me.
Me, I'm a failure, but Jesus has picked
me up and Jesus can use any old vessel that makes himself available
to Christ, but we must come with a pure heart and submit ourselves to
Christ. You don't need to kick the habit - it will leave you by
itself. Just get your eyes on Jesus, My Friend.
May Jesus Bless You.
Praise be to Jesus. Praise be to Jesus. Jesus delivered me too from the demon of smoking on ,29 may 2009. Praise be to Jesus.
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