The shock of my life

I was a born again Christian, not living in sin, baptized in water, baptized in the Holy Spirit. I was receiving revelation from Jesus, I experienced His guidance in my life and I was living what I thought was a good Christian life. We were reading the Bible at meal times, praying as a family. We were teaching our children about Jesus, had no television, never went to the movies or places of worldly pleasure. My children did not go to discos or hang out with friends, never slept out. My wife never worked out so the children came home from school and did their homework and their chores. They had the contract to deliver a weekly newspaper, which kept them very busy two afternoons a week and also earned them some good pocket money.

I had an executive job as general manger of a manufacturing company. I was not ashamed to testify for Jesus, and managed my business so others knew I was a Christian. I had a track record of fixing unprofitable companies turning them to productivity and profitability. I had a reputation for being a straight honest business man who did not accept half measures or poor performance, neither in my own company nor in the service we delivered to our customers.

We were financially blessed and by my understanding we were doing right in the sight of God and Jesus was pleased with us. Then I had the shock of my life, I had a heart attack, died, left my body and found myself going down a deep black hole, on my way to hell. I knew I was not coming back, it was final, my time was up. (My detailed testimony is on my website and youtube channel) I pleaded with Jesus to let me come back and warn others of the reality of hell and to prepare. Jesus did let me come back but my relationship with Jesus would never be the same after that. I had the fear of God in me and still do.

I was so sure that I was right with Jesus and then I had to find that I was on my way to hell. By all standards that I knew from reading the Bible I believed that I was doing good and I was saved. What I did not understand was that I was living for ME, not for Jesus. Until then everything had been about ME, my achievement, everything that Jesus had done for me and given me, even the baptism in the Holy Spirit, gift of speaking in tongues, revelations, dreams, guidance, answering my prayers, blessing me and my family financially and in all ways, physically, with good health and prosperity. Even with all that I was going to hell.

I started warning people, sharing my testimony. Soon I learned that most people do not really listen to what you are telling them. I went to churches and gave my testimony, but they were not interested. they want sensation. It is all about their church and their own importance. They are not interested in testimonies of Jesus, especially when you tell people to repent and explain that you were a good Christian and found yourself on your way to hell. I made fliers and put them in people's mailboxes but rarely received feedback. With time I testified less and basically gave up but that was a mistake.

I had to learn, it is not about results of reaction, IT IS ABOUT OBEDIENCE AND BEING PLEASING TO JESUS, DOING WHAT JESUS WANTS YOU TO DO. It is about following the Master, waiting on Him, seeking Him in prayer. Jesus wants ABSOLUTE HOLINESS, He does not tolerate disobedience, not one sin, not one evil thought, no rebellion. It is all about Jesus and His Kingdom, not about us. We MUST CHASE AFTER JESUS, FOLLOW HIM.

Jesus did not leave me alone, He was teaching me, coaching me. The devil was attacking me with fear about another heart attack. I was under severe stress, lying awake at night with my heart throbbing, in pain, sweating profusely, not knowing if I would see the sun rise the next morning. I knew that I will die again but I had to be sure that when my time comes that I do not go down the black hole to hell again. I was constantly praying, day and night. I was in an inner struggle for more than a year. I never spoke to anybody about it, never went to the doctor, never took tranquilizers. My business was with Jesus. I had to overcome. I had to resist the devil and overcome him. I had to overcome my flesh, my fears, my concern about myself. I had to fight a force bigger than me. I lost interest in the things that used to be important to me because I was busy with a bigger struggle. The pleasures of life lost their attraction.

After a year the Holy Spirit had burned the dross out of me. My focus was on Jesus and on pleasing Him. The pain in my chest that kept on coming back disappeared. I ignored the devil who had plagued me with doubt and anxiety, he could not intimidate me any more, I had won the battle against my own doubt in Jesus. I was interested in Jesus and His Kingdom. When Jesus shortly afterwards told me to sell all my possessions, quit my job and go where He sends me, it did not bother me. All the things that used to be important to me did not matter any more.

I thank Jesus for WAKING ME UP and treating me harshly or else I would still have been in ignorance on my way to hell. What I learned is that we must APREHEND Jesus, we must go after Him with all our power. We must die to SELF and live for Him. Jesus does not accept half measures. We either live for Jesus or for ourselves. The warning written in Revelation 3: 1 -3 speaks to every follower of Jesus:  “I know your deeds, that you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead. 2‘Wake up, and strengthen the things that remain, which were about to die; for I have not found your deeds completed in the sight of My God. 3‘So remember what you have received and heard; and keep it, and repent. Therefore if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come to you.” Jesus came on me like a thief and I was not ready. When Jesus calls again I want to be ready, waiting and faithfully working for His kingdom.

I pray that my testimony will wake others up who are also living in false security. Apprehend Jesus, go after Him, follow Him every day with all your power. Constantly seek Jesus in prayer, seek His approval, witness for His Kingdom. Live in utter holiness and obedience to Jesus. Read His words as written in the gospels Matthew, Mark Luke and John, obey those words and Jesus will reveal Himself to you. Always seek His confirmation that He is pleased with you. Do not seek the approval of people or trust any man. Remember, the moment you die, all that matters is whether Jesus is pleased with you.

Thank you for listening/reading

May Jesus bless you.